“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
At age 58 I have to confess that I thought certain sin issues I fought in my younger years had been conquered. I assumed that God’s work of transformation was complete in those areas. I’ve been chagrined to find that in actuality opportunity for those particular sin areas had simply diminished and when opportunity returned sin abounds.
I am acutely aware of the work of God in convicting me of pride and complacency in my desire for complete transformation and holiness. Being dropped into the furnace of affliction has quickly surfaced the dross in my life. Worry, impatience, self pity – so much has surfaced at times that I feel like I don’t know me anymore. I’ve sometimes even reverted to age ten as I interact with a very ten year old granddaughter. Instead of maintaining the adult self-controlled posture in our exchanges I engage in her tactics. Ugh!
How thankful I am that I’m not in this alone. I’m also very aware of the Holy Spirit sitting beside me as a refiner of silver. In fact the raw awareness of sin in my life is a gift from the Spirit. I’m learning to maintain a constant dialogue with the Holy Spirit asking for help and insight into my own heart and the hearts of those I love and with whom I interact. There is a new measure of thanksgiving for this trial that is revealing the truth of my heart condition and giving me opportunity to invite and receive the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in me.
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” Isaiah 48:10
Wow Claudia, you would think you are doing the Beth Moore study with us. That’s where we are…refining and letting us get a good look at ourselves and where we are in our walk. I too am so happy to have the Holy Spirit helping me and the others along as we take another look at our lives in Jesus.
The worry problem in my life..oh how I thought I was past that. Ha…found out it was there just waiting to pop up. Again, thank you Jesus for walking beside me as you and I work this out. I am in the middle of it, not out of it yet, but I feel and know there are changes coming and it causes me to worry.
Why? Don’t I trust? I thought I did.
My scripture that I wake up to is Trust in the Lord with ALL of my heart, lean not to “MY OWN” understanding. In ALL my ways acknowledge Him and He WILL direct my path..steps. It is my medicine to take during the day. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.. I am looking for the joy in life and trying not to let the worry creep in. I know I am to fill up with the word and wash out the worries.
Over 600 women in the valley are doing the Beth Moore study and 2 more churches just joined. I believe the God is calling us to a deeper stronger walk with Him.
Thanks again and again Claudia for being transparent and allowing us into your life and thoughts and prayers. You are stirring up out hearts to change from glory to glory. Love Trudy