GLEANINGS from Claudia: Sam

“I am in pain and distress: may your salvation, O God, protect me.”
Psalm 69:29

Fresh tears tonight as I grieve for a family I don’t even know. ‘Sam’, the 32 year old sister-in-law of a young man I know, died this morning a week after being involved in a car  accident. She leaves behind a husband, a son, a daughter, sisters, and other family and friends that I can’t count or name.

Our Becky’s death was so sudden. Within hours of her accident she was gone, never having regained consciousness. I grieve for Sam’s family that hoped and watched and prayed and rejoiced and agonized for a week as this one they love gained and slipped and ultimately lost the battle for life. Which is worse? Is there a way to calibrate grief? I think not, but I know I’ve thanked God for the blessing for Becky in not returning to consciousness here, but rather awakening to see Jesus.

I know from what I’ve heard that copious prayer was lifted for Sam’s healing. The same is true for Becky. As soon as we were aware that there had been an accident people all over the country were praying for her health and life. And then death. What is this hard answer? Is this a shouted ‘NO’ or a resounding ‘YES’ to life, to full and complete healing? It pains like a no to us, but I wonder about them . . . about Becky and Sam? Oh that they could talk to us now!

I was eighteen when I first came to know Jesus. I remember thinking, ‘Oh Lord please wait!’ when first I realized He was coming again. I wanted to meet a man and marry and have kids and experience all the sweetness of life. I wanted to share this life-giving Lord with my family and friends. I wanted time before I stepped into eternity. But now pain pushes me and my own pain seems small when I consider the groaning of humans for the years of time. This pain is a between place – it isn’t meant to be where I live. This pain is  an unwelcome bridge from what was, through what is, to what will be. “Oh Lord, I plead for Your comfort tonight for Sam’s family. Birth in us the hope of eternity, may Your salvation, Oh Lord, protect us.”

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” John 16:21-22

“That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”
Romans 8:18-28

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About Gleanings from Claudia

I am a wife, mother, grandmother,sister, and friend newly introduced to grief as I lost my 32 year old daughter in an auto accident in December 2010. I am a follower of Jesus and am journeying through grief while abiding in Christ.
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2 Responses to GLEANINGS from Claudia: Sam

  1. Sue says:

    again…thank you so much for your heartfelt words. Just this morning I told Jesus, “You know, life is so hard. I know You hold death and life in Your hands and You are trust worthy, but because of that, I am scared to trust You.” I can’t help but question Him and lay out my fears before Him. I believe He wants that rather than me holding in such termoil to just fester in my heart.
    Yesterday we learned some very sad news about my cousing Shannon. Shannon lives in Canada. She has been raising her 3 sons alone after her husband was killed in a logging accident several years ago. She also continued running her husbands log trucking company since his death. Resently she remarried and we rejoiced with her as she allowed herself to love again, however~ Yesterday her new husband was killed in a car accident.
    Why Lord? I found myself looking to Him and asking why would Shannon and her family have to experience such deep loss? Is it a curse on her family? Is it predestined for her to learn something from Him that she just didn’t get? Is it an attack from the enemy? but… instead, I just have to say, though my heart is raw and aching, I don’t know why and I can’t understand this side of heaven, but I know You Lord and deep in my heart I believe You are trust worthy.
    I pray for Shannon and her family.
    Please don’t tarry Lord, come and get us!
    Sue

    • Oh Sue — my heart breaks for your cousin. What a crushing blow. It’s all about relationship, isn’t it? If we didn’t love, we wouldn’t hurt, but how dark the world would be and how incredibly long our lives would seem! I’ll join you in praying for Shannon and her family. So sorry to hear of this fresh grief for her.

      Lord – You know all about this. You gave Shannon a new love and a heart that trusted You and life enough to risk giving herself away a second time. And once again she is crushed by grief. It is such a hard truth to know that You know and You knew . . . and yet this truth brings comfort. Lord see her through this. Be her evident and constant companion – make Yourself supernaturally known to her through this season of grief upon grief. She has been strong through the years for her sons, give her the freedom to be weak and to be lifted up and ministered to by You and those You send. Show Your hand of care and provision for Shannon and those she loves in the midst of this great sadness. Thank You that You are the God of both the ‘meta’ and the ‘mega’ – You are infinitely aware of the smallest detail of our lives and at the same time see the end from the beginning and the biggest picture possible. Use that knowledge now to orchestrate that which is next in Shannon’s life. Be the conductor as she plays out the music of her life. We offer our pain to You as a sacrifice of trust. Amen.

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