GLEANINGS from Claudia: Seven Months

“Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”  Psalm 9:10

July 29, 2011 marks seven months since Becky’s death.  I woke this morning with the song “Blessed Be Your Name” by Matt Redman on my mind. So appropriate . . .

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s ‘all as it should be’
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

I remember loving this song over the years that I’ve sung it. In the past I was acutely aware that I’d not experienced the depth of sorrow that the song acknowledges. I didn’t ‘know’ — and I’d not been called to bless and praise the Lord in the face of agonizing pain. Now I know. There have been days when it is hard to enter into praise. Those are the days when the sorrow and questions and unanswerable loss well up and surround and enter me like an impenetrable fog. There are also days when the praise and worship just bubble up and out – like this morning. I did nothing other than awaken into praise!

I remember at some time participating in a ‘trust’ exercise.  I stood with a blindfold on in a very quiet room unable to see or hear anything. My job in this exercise was to simply fall backward. Every part of me screamed ‘No! Don’t do something so foolish!” My life experience taught me that to fall backward meant pain and possibly severe injury. But I also knew that a circle of friends stood behind me ready to catch me when I fell. I feel like I’m experiencing a trust exercise now. I have the choice of holding onto pain and standing
in the unfairness of such an untimely death or of trusting what I know – that God is good and eternity waits and this separation is temporary. Today I awoke trusting and praising God in the inner man. What a blessing!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

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About Gleanings from Claudia

I am a wife, mother, grandmother,sister, and friend newly introduced to grief as I lost my 32 year old daughter in an auto accident in December 2010. I am a follower of Jesus and am journeying through grief while abiding in Christ.
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3 Responses to GLEANINGS from Claudia: Seven Months

  1. Almost every time I sing this song, I cry. The emotion and memories well up and overwhelm me
    with how powerful they are. These days, it hits me much less often, but singing seems to bring it to the surface more than anything. This song has so much praise and commitment, trust.
    I love it.

  2. Kristin says:

    The very first time I heard this song was less than a week after my first miscarriage. I couldn’t sing it. I was so mad at God for what he had taken away that I couldn’t sing blessings to His name. I have often been able to get my head to say “Blessed be Your name” when I couldn’t make my heart. He has been slowly changing my heart so that I can now sing that song honestly…even though it is still hard.

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