GLEANINGS from Claudia: Fear

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:18

I woke today to beautiful, glorious, blue skies.  This has been the longest winter of my life in every possible aspect.  I’m sure my perspective is skewed, but I remember skies of prevailing blue only when I’ve been away from home.  Is that possible?  Whatever the truth, today I SEE the cornflower sky and feel myself lighten in response.  Thank you Lord!

Yesterday was a weepy day.  No torrents of grief, just a pervading mist like those Oregon coast days where the clouds kiss the earth and sea all the day long.  And then in the night a time of ‘why’ again and that core-of-my-being missing Becky.  In this mental processing I thought back to the beginning and recognized that fear is one emotion I have not experienced.  I knew this as I thought about family and friends who responded to Becky’s accident with heightened worry about travel for their children or themselves.  Fear seems to me a natural response to an event so out of the natural order.  So why haven’t I feared? 

What is there to fear in this situation?  My own death – that doesn’t concern me at all except as to wondering about the details of the departure. To borrow from Paul – “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21”  The death of another that I love – this is something of which I choose not to think.  I want to be next in line for death, but I know I do not have the rights to create this order. I also know from experience that God will sustain those of us left if the sequence differs from my druthers.  To live in fear of death is to live death every day.  I see no point.  I could fear eternal loss or punishment, but I know beyond a shadow of doubt — a most elusive and improbable thing, that shadow — that eternity waits and that in eternity I will know and be known.  I look forward to and even long for the day that I will see Jesus face to face and reunite with my family and friends who already look on his face.  After these things there is little left to fear and frankly I don’t have the energy for it. I am thankful for the perfect love of Father God demonstrated in Jesus that gives me a fearless foundation unshakeable even by death and loss. This foundation gives me the freedom to focus my emotional energy on living and healing and seeking God.  Praise Him!

 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.”  
1 John 3:1-3

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About Gleanings from Claudia

I am a wife, mother, grandmother,sister, and friend newly introduced to grief as I lost my 32 year old daughter in an auto accident in December 2010. I am a follower of Jesus and am journeying through grief while abiding in Christ.
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2 Responses to GLEANINGS from Claudia: Fear

  1. Cindy says:

    Fear and grief can just drain the life out of a person. I’m thankful that you only have to deal with one of those dynamics and fear does not have a place in your life. That is one of the reasons you are able to share so much life with others right now.

  2. Donna Anderson says:

    Claudia, I can not even begin to imagine how others cope without God. He is the only way, the only reason, we can go on to grow and flourish until it is our turn. Bless you.

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