Grief – Answered Prayer

I mentioned earlier that I’ve been praying constantly since the accident. I’ve clearly seen answer to my prayers in the connection I feel to the Lord and in the every day comfort He has provided. There have been other very tangible answers also and I want to share one of those now.

On Monday, January 3, Steve and I returned home to prepare for Becky’s memorial service here and to get the house ready for family to come. On Tuesday, January 4, I drove to the airport to pick-up Jacob, Amity and Dara to bring them to our home to stay until the four of us would leave for Jacob’s place again on Saturday, January 8. Jacob also brought with him the urn that held Becky’s earthly remains.

The morning was foggy and slick so I needed to be on alert as I drove, but the minute I got into the car I was awash in grief and tears. You see, prior to this I had not been alone and had been actively involved in caring for others. I had experienced grief and tears, but in little portions and for the most part in response to others. Alone now, I was on the precipice of a deep valley of tears that threatened to swallow me and destroy my ability to drive. I made it to a nearby town where I stopped for gas. I pulled away from the gas pump and found a place to park and make a phone call. I spoke to a dear friend about how I was doing, my need to grieve, and my more overriding need to be on alert as I drove to the airport – two hours away. My friend prayed for me and promised to continue praying.

I pulled onto the road and headed for the nearby freeway entrance to begin my trek to the airport. Again fighting tears I scanned the entrance lane aware of a loaded open-bedded pick-up truck in front of me and a tour bus in the right hand freeway lane to the left of the entrance lane. I picked up speed all the while gauging where my ‘spot’ to get on the freeway would come. As I looked forward at the truck in front of me again, to my horror and astonishment the pick-up dropped its load! I had no where to go, so I slammed on my brakes and steered to the shoulder. I watched the car behind me in the entrance lane do the same in time to avoid rear-ending me. At the same time I saw that the pick-up’s load had partially dropped into the oncoming tour bus’s lane. I watched masterful driving as the bus driver simply held his ground and drove right over the debris in his lane – not swerving into the entry lane where I was, and not swerving into the left hand freeway lane where other cars were motoring on. The next thing I knew the guys in the pick-up truck were out of the truck, running into lanes of traffic gathering up the stuff they dropped. No property or person was injured in the midst of this potential demolition derby. As I got my breath back and scanned the road to be sure I could safely get on the highway in the wake of all of this I realized that I had great clarity and focus. There were no longer tears of grief drawing my attention – rather I was riding an adrenaline wave that had me on high alert.

I see an answer to prayer here. This was an accident averted by the skill and attention of the people involved, but for me it went one step further to be the situation that gave me what I needed to make it to Portland without harm. I praise God for the way He made me – that the adrenaline He placed in my body for just these kinds of situations was my helper on this day. These kinds of praises raise questions too – for instance “why didn’t God intervene in some way or provide in some way in Becky’s accident?” I don’t know the answer to that question, but I know that my questions will not stop me from praising Him for blessings clearly provided.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Ps 139:14

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About Gleanings from Claudia

I am a wife, mother, grandmother,sister, and friend newly introduced to grief as I lost my 32 year old daughter in an auto accident in December 2010. I am a follower of Jesus and am journeying through grief while abiding in Christ.
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