Grief – Help from Hebrews

Posted on February 2, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

The book of Hebrews has provided some surprising comfort as I process my grief at losing Becky. I’ve long loved this book of the Bible because I am enthralled with the Old Testament and Hebrews ties the Old Testament and the New Testament together in the person of Jesus Christ. What I hadn’t fully realized is how much Hebrews displays Jesus as the suffering God fighting our battle with death.

“Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death — that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Heb 2:14-18

God in Jesus took on every aspect of humanity with the express purpose of being merciful and faithful on our behalf. He was tempted just like I am tempted and he withstood those temptations never giving in to the point of sin. This comforts me because I can look to Jesus when I’m tempted knowing that He knows the way out – he can be my guide.

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Heb 4:14-16

Tempted in every way, just as we are — what a comfort. When in the midst of my grief over Becky’s death I find myself tempted to say to God “forget it” or “this isn’t worth it” or “where were you” I know that Jesus somehow understands. I find myself wondering if his struggle in the garden encompassed some of these thoughts? Was Jesus asking if there was another way to accomplish our salvation? Was He agonizing over the coming separation from Father God – the death of that relationship? Was He fighting the temptation to do it another way, a way that wouldn’t cause him to suffer death and separation and pain?

“During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.” Heb 5:7-10

“He was heard. . .” – I’ve often wondered what that means since He did die, He did suffer. Jesus didn’t give in to temptation whatever form that took for Him in His last night on earth. He found the strength to endure and submit to what was set before Him. That strength came from His love for us – the ‘joy set before Him’ of our salvation and restored relationship (Hebrews 12:2&3). Again I find myself wondering if God gave Jesus a vision that night of what it would look like after death died and our souls were restored to right relationship with God – if that vision is what enabled Him to obey. I won’t know the answer to that question this side of eternity, but I know what I know – that there is no other God I would serve but this One who has walked where I’ve walked and can lead me through.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Heb 13:5

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Grief – The Purpose of Life

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

I’ve been thinking a lot about the purpose of life. I believe God creates us for an eternal relationship with him. In that relationship we bring him glory and both him and ourselves joy. We are born to begin this relationship while walking through time. So, if eternity is ‘set in our hearts’; if eternity is the truth of our existence, why, oh why do we have to go through the 70 years of time? That 70 or so years inevitably brings a share of pain and grief so why not just be born into the sweet joy of eternity?

I’m beginning to conclude that our time on earth has great value in getting to know God. When I think of heaven I think of a place with no more tears, no more pain, no more suffering. This will be a place of unmitigated joy. Inevitably then, I see the God of this place as a happy being who knows no pain or sorrow. But when I think deeper into this, I realize this happy-faced, sorrow-less God isn’t the God I know from scripture. I know that Jesus wept at the death of his friend (Jn 11:35 – what comfort this gives me), that He sorrowed to the point of death (Mt.26:38; Mk 14:34), that He had to suffer much and be rejected (Mk. 8:31; 9:12; Lk 17:25). This God that I know and serve is intimately acquainted with sorrow, pain, grief and tears. His deepest pain comes from broken relationship and His greatest purpose is the redemptive work that restores relationship.

In some small way as I deeply mourn the loss of my earthly relationship with Becky, I begin to sense the devastation of sin that is manifested in death. At the first choice of Adam and Eve to sin relationship was broken and death entered the world. God felt that loss so deeply that He fully entered into the plan to take death onto Himself so that death could be banished and not be the eternal end to relationship. How I love this God! And how losing Becky has enhanced my understanding of the pain of death and sin and the love of God manifested in redemption.

I’m still muddling through – I know I see through a glass darkly and don’t really understand what God has done. But I know more than I did five weeks ago. In what seems a huge contradiction to me I find myself falling deeper in love with this God who is acquainted with pain.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 NIV

“What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven – and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all – life healed and whole.” 1 Peter 1:3-5 The Message

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Grief – God’s Absence or Presence?

Posted on January 31, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Ps 139:14-16

When I think of Becky’s accident there are two words that could define that moment for me: absence or presence. December 29 started as a normal day for her, but with the threat of inclement weather to make travel to her clnical rotation site and home potentially hazardous. She packed a bag as she left just in case she should need to stay away from home. Somehow she decided that she would be OK driving if she left work a bit early. She managed to get about 10 miles from home before her van slid on the ice into the oncoming lane. A pick-up struck her door in just the ‘right’ place to cause mortal injury to Becky.

Where was God in all of this? He could’ve altered Becky’s decision process so that she stayed in town. He could’ve used His almighty power to stop the slide of the van or to gently place the pick-up truck in the ditch. With one breath He could’ve melted the ice and kept the van from sliding into the path of the oncoming vehicle. But He didn’t. Absence.

But oh how I see His presence in all of this. I see an accident set in motion by decisions made based upon the best information available at the time. I see natural law in place, laws ordained by God to make sense of our world that on this day resulted in a senseless loss. But there is so much more than an ‘accident’ here. Becky and Jacob’s neighbor Paul was following the pick-up truck that struck Becky’s van and he saw the accident happen. He was at Becky’s van door as soon as possible and knew that her injuries were grievous. Becky was non-responsive by that time; within minutes of the accident she didn’t know pain or fear or cold – Paul was able to share that bit of comforting news. When Paul knew Becky was being cared for he went immediately to Jacob. Paul went to Jacob’s door, told him there had been an accident and took him in his car to the hospital. Amanda was there to help get the girls to Audra, a very dear friend of the family who had been taking care of the girls off and on for a year. There were friends working at the hospital who were notified immediately of the accident and that Becky was on her way to the hospital with Jacob not far behind. Over and over in small and large ways I see God comforting and supporting through divinely placed people. Presence.

God knows what our lives hold for us and He knows from beginning to end. He knows when our death is coming and He is present and ready to embrace us as we fully enter His presence. Psalm 139:16 tells us that “all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 58:6 says “Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record (book)?” The same Hebrew word – book – is used in each of these Psalms. I see the hand of God recording all of Becky’s days in His book, recording all of her tears in His book, keeping precious watch over this one that He loves and over each of us who love her. Presence.

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Grief – 31 Days Past

Posted on January 30, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

Becky

31 days past

January 29, 2011
We came from our lives to be together again
The ‘we’ we’ve become
The worst night of our lives overshadowing
The nights since
We gathered in the place we’d last been with you
Not a coming together long planned, like Christmas
But a coming together instinctive and driven
Overcoming fear of us together without you
Unchanged yet elementally different
We sat at first silent – the kids happy-loud together
Talking surfaced and then went deep
Life with you: life without you: and tomorrow?
Tears and laughter, silly talk and serious talk
The stuff of life continuing
And you right in the middle of it like always
Absent now, but so present
We taste our grief and see that it is hard-good
We sample each other’s loss
And plot how we can love each other through this
Hearts for the Son-Brother you loved into this family
Oh to step outside of time and see you today
Not to go back, but to move forward
To be together past this vale of tears and mystery
Together Loving Forever

Home

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Grief – Death Our Enemy

Posted on January 28, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

I’ve considered death in the past and, when contemplating my own death, I’ve considered death a friend that would usher me into the presence of God. I don’t fear my death, although I wonder at the manner of death I will face and know that there could be fear or pain in that event. But death itself holds no angst for me.

After Becky’s death my attitude has changed. I still don’t fear my own death, but I much more clearly see death as the enemy. Death is not the natural order of things. In God’s ordained order life is eternal. Sin, our choice to sin, is what brought death into existence. And yet, death in a sin-filled world is a mercy. To live for eternity in a world of violence and pain and broken relationship and people hurting people – who wants that?

I can’t adequately describe the deep longing of my soul for the restoration of God’s order. To see creation redeemed, restored, to be returned to the beauty and harmony of a newly birthed creation, to see death destroyed – what joy!! I want it now, but I also appreciate a God who waits – who holds back until every wandering soul has the chance to know Him and love Him. This newest experience of death causes me to fully join the author of Revelation in saying “Maranatha – come quickly Lord Jesus!”

From “The Message”
“It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s! So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us – an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him! That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture . . . None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. “ Romans 8:11-36

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Grief – The Struggle to Surrender

Posted on January 27, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

“All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live. I surrender all, I surrender all. All to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.”

I’ve considered that I surrendered my life to Jesus years ago at the age of 18. I’ve sung the hymn “I Surrender All” and variations of that sentiment many times in my life. I’ve prayed surrender to the Lord many times and offered myself and all that I have for His purposes and glory. But, in this season I’m struggling to surrender. Surrender what, you might ask? Becky is gone and you have no choice here. Ah, but there is a surrender required. I can hold on to my grief tenaciously asking my questions about ‘fairness’ and ‘intentionality’ and ‘reasonable purpose’ and ‘why’ into eternity. Or I can come to the place where I say “I don’t understand, but I trust You – use this for Your purposes and glory.”

My granddaughters and I were looking at Hebrews 12 and the great cloud of witnesses prior to Becky’s memorial. We were taking comfort in the fact that Becky is part of that cloud of witnesses now and cheering us on in our faith journey. We took a look back at Hebrews 11 to see who she was cheering with and ran into the story of Abraham being so faithful that he obeyed God and moved to sacrifice his only son. This takes my breath away. I don’t think I could do it. I would think the voiced command my own deluded brain or some demon asking me to do this. God wouldn’t ask this, would He? How did God give Abraham such clarity; how did He make sure Abraham knew His voice? How did Abraham do it?

And then I take the leap from Abraham sacrificing Isaac to God sacrificing His only Son, Jesus. When God asked Abraham to lay Isaac on the altar, God knew that He was going to provide the lamb for the sacrifice and Isaac would be saved. When Christ went to the cross there was no alternate plan in place – God turned His back on His only Son as Jesus became sin for us and paid the price of death for our sin. God is so ‘other’ from me, I’m so inadequate to grasp the mind of God. But the mind of Abraham I can get – Abraham is my bridge into a portion of what God must have felt and thought as His Son died on the cross. What agony endured for the joy of my salvation!

I feel the call of God to Abraham in my life now. Becky is gone, but I still need to lay her life on the altar of sacrifice. I need to be willing to give up my ‘rights’ to love my daughter through a long life – a life where I would die first – and let God use this sacrifice to further His kingdom purposes in me and those with whom I interact. This is a hard obedience. — “Lord, on one level I’m so willing, in fact eager to give up these questions and trust You. From day to day my ability to do this wavers and wanders. Lord I give her up, help me when I take her back.”

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Eph 5:1-2

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Heb 12:2-3

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Grief – The Power of Community

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

Earlier in my journal I’ve spoken to the help that friends have been as we’ve walked through grief. In addition to this new understanding of friendship I’ve caught a deeper vision of community through this loss.

The experience of another’s death, the living out of grief, is intensely personal and likely one of the loneliest things I’ve faced. No one else can exactly understand what I’m struggling with. Just as our relationships with each other are unique to the two people interacting, our grief at the loss of a person is unique. I knew Becky as my middle daughter. We talked about things that she didn’t speak about to anyone else. I got to support and encourage her through some super difficult things and had the distinct pleasure of helping her keep her eyes on Jesus in her difficulties. I know that each of her sisters and her dad had unique relationships with her and shared things that I don’t know about. Because of these different relationships, in a way we mourn a different Becky, hence the isolation in grief.

That said there is also a universality in grief. Everyone who hears of our loss is touched and immensely supportive. The sheer volume of prayers of grief, support, and encouragement has been amazing. With these sentiments have come too many cards to count, meals and offers of meals, practical helps, and many, many hugs. The broader community has offered these condolences and helps – in Jacob’s town meals were brought in, an additional refrigerator was delivered to Jacob and Becky’s garage, some acquaintances moved out of their home so we could stay in it while in town, and many offers were made for childcare and other support after things settled back to ‘normal.’ The church has been amazing – in Corvallis our church worked to facilitate our every wish for the memorial service including a wonderful meal and a place for the family to congregate, people are contacting us continually with practical helps and just to listen to us and pray with us, our responsibilities to the church were readily and ably covered and time to heal has been generously extended to us. I’ve watched people we love very deliberately do the dance of being there for us while respecting the times that we’ve needed to grieve alone. Over and over I think “What do people do who don’t know the Lord; who aren’t a part of His church?”

I am an individual and I mourn as an individual, but an individual wrapped in a warm, loving community. This blanket of love and support keeps my grief tolerable and gently woos me back into daily life. “Lord, remind me of the beauty of Your community carrying my burden during this season of my life. Use me to support others as they experience the isolation of grief.”

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2nd Corinthians 1:3-5

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Grief – Death Does Not Define Us

Posted on January 25, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

In the wake of Becky’s death I’ve come to understand how defining death is. Three little words say so much about Becky now – “Becky is dead.” I think about introducing myself to a new person and I find myself wanting to say “I’m Claudia, the one whose daughter, Becky, died.” At church this last Sunday a woman visited who we had never met before. My husband Steve and I always stand at the door and greet people as they come and go between services. As we greeted this woman her eyes got round and she said “Are you the ones whose daughter died?” Yes, that would be us.

As we re-enter ‘normal’ life – looking for the ‘new normal’ — I wonder what I’ll say when someone asks how many children we have? We have three children and this will never change. Do we say “We have three children” and leave it at that? Do we early introduce grief into our new relationships by saying “We have three children, two we see fairly often and one we won’t see until we see Jesus?”

I rebel at this understanding of death as primary. Death has never defined Becky nor does it now. Becky lived vibrantly. She was a lover of Jacob, a devoted mother to Amity and Dara, a quirkily hilarious sister, a doting daughter, a driven student, and a compulsive sharer of Jesus. Jacob mentioned that he saw her weep many times at the thought that someone she knew might die without knowing the saving grace of Jesus Christ. She had a life-long thing about death – she looked at it, considered it, wondered at how she would survive it if someone she loved died. And all this consideration caused her to share compulsively about life, true life. In a great mercy and grace Becky died in a way that makes her Dad and I realize that she never tasted death. She wasn’t aware of her own death, in essence here one moment and unaware the next, and she never knew the death of the people whose death she most feared. What a joy for her, but what an ache it leaves for us.

Becky is more alive now than I’m able to understand or imagine. Lord – teach me how to express vibrant life even when I speak of death. Thank you that death is the last enemy and you’ve conquered it by the overcoming power of the One Who is Life!

“But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.” Jude 20, 21

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Grief – Response

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

December 30, 2010 — Day 2

The morning after the accident we arrived at Jacob’s sometime mid-morning. We greeted Jacob, Amity and Dara with fresh tears and grief. Not long after our arrival Jacob’s family came and tears fell again. Soon we were all finding small things to do to ‘help’ – picking up, loving on the girls, asking gentle questions that would help us know what needed to be done next.

Friends of Jacob’s came by and offered food, and childcare, and whatever support we needed. Amanda, a next-door neighbor, suggested that we put a notebook on the table to jot down questions, thoughts, situations prompting thanks, phone calls – all those things that might be important to us later, but that would be quickly forgotten in the fog of grief. This very practical suggestion was immensely helpful.

At some point in this first very long and emotional day I found myself sitting on the sofa. I looked up into the dining room and saw a wall hanging that I’d seen hundreds of times before. It said:

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24.”

All I could think was “Really Lord? Really?” I’ve sung this verse so many times – going on walks with the grandkids we would sing this verse; I’ve sung it to myself; I’ve sung it with others – it has been an easy verse for me. I think I realized then that Becky’s death is the deepest test my faith has undergone. There was going to be no easy joy in my life, not for a long time. But I could choose to rest on the foundation of joy poured into me by years of living in Christ. Since that night I feel myself living out my days in ‘layers.’ Each day has a layer of pain and grief in it, but that grief is poured over a certainty and assurance born of faith. There is a deep well of joy that does bubble up through the layers of grief and pain. I know with the greatest certainty that I will see Becky again. I know that she is part of the great cloud of witnesses that is cheering me and all of the rest of this hurting family on in the great race of life. I know that God will give us what we need to endure and ultimately to enjoy life again.

I love words so I looked up the word ‘rejoice’ in a lexicon. It means ‘to spin around under the influence of any violent emotion, usually rejoice.’ As I reviewed that definition I realized I’ve read it before so I searched a bit more and found this same word in one of my all time favorite verses:

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

I’ve been praying this verse over my granddaughters Amity and Dara. We are all definitely spinning around under the influence of violent emotion right now and God is right there spinning with us. My prayer to this rejoicing God – “Lord restore unto us the joy of our salvation; remind us of your joy in our salvation.”

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Grief – Remembering Our Helpers

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Gleanings from Claudia

December 29, 2010 — Day 1

This is the night that divides our lives into ‘before Becky died’ and ‘after Becky died.’ We had just sat down to dinner when we received the first call about the accident. Our son-in-law, Jacob, didn’t have our cell number in his cell so he called his Mom, Barbara, and asked her to call us. All we knew was that there had been an accident, that Jacob was on his way to the hospital and that he was pretty broken up when he spoke to Barbara. We immediately sent out a prayer request on our church’s prayer chain. Then the waiting began.

As the night progressed and we spoke briefly to Jacob at various intervals it became clear that Becky’s injuries were grievous and ultimately that she was not going to live. We prayed with Jacob and cried with him, desperately wishing we could be there with him and so thankful for the cell phone connection that at least allowed us to support him a bit. At one point in the evening we sent out a second prayer request to let people know that things looked bad for Becky. Soon our daughter Joni came to the house to share this grief with us. Not long after the second prayer request went out we found dear friends at our door. I’m going to be honest here – we would not have called them to come to us. We were stricken and wanted to process alone as we struggled with our feelings and decisions about when to leave for Jacob’s home and how to get there – several hours away. Our friends were quiet, mostly just sitting in our living room and ‘being there’ while we talked over what next. We finally decided that flying first thing in the morning made the most sense. From there our daughter Kristin and her husband Chris would be able to drive us to Jacob’s home. With that decision our friends insisted that we try to get some rest, that they would do the same, and that our transportation to the airport would be provided in their van. They prayed over us and then left us to finish packing and to rest.

We didn’t sleep at all that night, but we did force ourselves to rest. Our friend came back at 3 a.m. and drove us the two hours to the airport through an icy night when we had no power to think with clarity. Had we chosen to drive we would’ve been a minimum of 9 hours on the road through the night with the last 100 miles or so on ice-coated roads.

When I think back on this now, I’m so blessed at the ‘presumption’ of these friends. They didn’t call and say ‘we’re praying for you’ – although they were. They didn’t check-in and offer to help if we needed anything. Instead they showed up at our door and quietly helped us make wise decisions putting their feet to those decisions. I’ve learned an immense amount about ‘being there’ for others through this experience. Thank you dear friends.

“A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

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